Someone told me years ago that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

It's a bit of a cliche now, but I remember the first time I heard it and did the maths honestly. It wasn't a comfortable exercise.

This week's theme: Company.

Today, the practical one. A small audit you can do in ten minutes over your coffee.

THE FIVE

Grab a piece of paper. Or the notes app. Doesn't matter.

Write down the five people whose voices are in your ordinary hours the most. Not your favourites. Not the ones you love most. The actual five. The colleagues you sit next to. The friend group chat that pings all day. The family members who ring. The podcaster you listen to every commute. The person on your phone screen more than anyone else.

Yes, podcasters and content creators count. If someone is in your ears for an hour a day, they are in your five. That includes me. Weigh us all honestly.

Now write two words next to each name.

The first word answers this question. When I finish a conversation or a session with this person, do I feel larger or smaller? Write LARGER or SMALLER. That's it. No qualifiers.

The second word answers this question. Is this person moving me toward Jesus, or away from him? Write TOWARD or AWAY. If the honest answer is neither, write NEUTRAL.

Now look at your list.

If most of your five are SMALLER and AWAY, you have your answer about why the last few months have felt the way they have. This is not a moral failure. It's just proximity doing what proximity does. And it means something needs to change.

If most of your five are LARGER and TOWARD, thank God for them today. That is a gift most people don't have. Send at least one of them a message this morning telling them what they mean to you. They probably have no idea.

If it's mixed, which it usually is, look at where the balance sits. Which direction is winning most weeks? That's the direction you're being shaped in.

Then read this verse.

The image is deliberate. Iron sharpening iron makes noise. It throws sparks. It requires friction. Real spiritual friendship isn't always comfortable. The people who are moving you toward Jesus will sometimes push back on you, tell you things you'd rather not hear, notice things you were hoping to hide.

That's not a bad friend. That's the sharpening. That's what it looks like when someone is helping you become the person God is making you.

If your five contains nobody who does this, that's a gap worth praying about this week. Ask God for one sharpener. He is remarkably good at answering that particular prayer.

YOUR ONE THING FOR TODAY

Do the audit. Actually do it. Ten minutes.

Then act on one thing. Message the sharpener and thank them. Or create a small bit of distance from the drainer. Or start praying for the gap.

Something. Not everything. One thing.

WATCH THE NEW VIDEO

This week's new video on the channel walks through the sharper end of this audit. Three specific types of people scripture warns us to keep at a distance, and how to handle it without becoming judgemental about people.

OVER TO YOU

Who's the sharpener in your five? Hit reply with their first name. I read every one.

God bless you, my friend.

P.S. Known: Discovering Who God Says You Are is out now. Newsletter readers still get 50% off for a limited time